Catch Me
by Jessica Lauren
Summary: What would happen if you lost to Seymour Flux? Hm... Yuna and Seymour would get it on, that's what. Also contains, a hell of a lot of angst, confusion, slight insanity and more complicated human emotions.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** So, the following is what could have happened if Final Fantasy X wasn't just a game. This acts as a sort of sequel to my story '**Almost Lover**' and Yuna will refer to that story constantly as 'that night'. So go read that first, but you don't have to if you don't wunna. This is only gonna be a few chapters long - I'm aiming for three/four, but goodness knows how long this will end up. Please enjoy! (Also, Yuna is described as 'naive' and I've most definitely incorporated that attribute into this)

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><p><strong>Catch Me<strong>

_Yuna x Seymour_

Yuna POV

I wrapped my arms around myself, trying and failing to hold any heat in my body. This high up on Mt Gagazet, it felt as if we were walking through thin ice. The air was frozen, my boots were lost in shin high snow and the sky was the same color. Everything blended into a thick whitish gray haze that was painful to inhale and hurt to touch. Well, I'd been tender since… since... Well… That night. My mind played the highlights over and over again in my dreams and in my head, as I shuffled through the snow. Even when Tidus kissed me… I thought of _him_. I thought of how _he_ held me, how _he_ touched me and how _he_ made me feel. I'd been in a state of almost constant distraction since that night. I longed for his touch again, yearned to feel his skin against mine. I wanted to taste his flesh, take it between my teeth, suckle on it softly until…

Ugh Yuna, stop it. Not only was the man I wanted as dead as dead could be but he was also the enemy. He wanted to destroy Spira and he wanted me to aid him. I didn't understand his intentions, or maybe I did. There was logic there but it couldn't be the solution. What could have possibly twisted and contorted such a beautiful and gentle man so much so that he wished for the mass genocide of an entire world? How could death be the solution when death was the problem? It didn't make any sense. I wished I could have changed his mind. If I had though, I would have sent him. There was a niggling inside me, a tiny part of my heart that was happy with the fact that he was not yet sent. It meant that there was still potential… still time… for him to… touch me again. A tingling warm sensation ran from the very pit of my stomach to my core as the thought crossed my mind. I nearly moaned aloud but caught myself at the last moment.

"You okay, Yunie?" Rikku asked, catching the sudden shift in my stance in the corner of her eye.

I nodded once. "Yes. It's horribly cold, isn't it?"

She smiled. "Yeah, I know right. Hopefully it's not too far to the summit. Auron says we're gonna rest for the night there."

I sighed and my eyes fell to the ground, watching my feet shuffle through the deep snow. Eventually after a little small talk, Rikku began to speed up and went to walk with Tidus at the head of the party. I wasn't much of a conversation anymore. My mind kept wandering back, dreaming of things that could never happen. So I kept wandering forward almost behind all of my guardians. Of course, Kimahri wouldn't want me to vulnerable from behind so he was purposely walking slowly behind me, just in case. My thoughts were so absorbed with dark, almost insane fantasies; I didn't even notice that Rikku and Tidus had stopped at the corner. It was only went Rikku came running from behind us, shouting and yelling something not completely comprehensible that I realized… Tidus was in danger.

"What is it, Rikku?" Auron said calmly but firmly, taking the girl by the shoulder with his free hand, perhaps trying to calm her.

She shook her head, babbling as tears rolled down her cheeks. "Tidus is… behind us… _Seymour!_"

My eyes caught hers the moment she said _his_ name. A shiver rolled down my spine and I knew by instinct that it was not due to the icy chill pervading the air. Her eyes only told the story of how scared she was. _That_ was how I _should_ have felt. My feelings were at a loss. I didn't know how I should have felt. I was torn between my true feelings and how I was supposed to feel. Stuck between my head and my heart. Caught between right and wrong. I could never love him because he wanted to kill everyone. I could never love him because he couldn't love me. And yet, I still loved him anyway as nonsensical it seemed. There was nothing holding me to him, nothing at all. We had conflicting views but maybe that was what brought us together. Opposites attract after all.

"Now is your time to die. Prepare yourself, son of Jecht," he said, the sound of his voice reverberating quietly off the icy walls. I could only hear it now because I'd learned of his presence. My senses seemed to heighten, all of a sudden at the mention of his presence. The smooth pronunciation of each word, the way his lips caressed each syllable and how his tongue caught on a name I knew so very well, making the familiar unfamiliar. My knees became weak, just hearing the sound of his voice. My heartbeat fluttered and the memories became somewhat, more explicit than I previously remembered.

My guardians rushed back with me tagging along, all hoping they weren't too late to protect Tidus. Of course, we weren't. Tidus stood there, a few feet from Seymour, his body positioned in a defensive half crouch.

"Not if I can help it!" Tidus shot back, anguish tangled into his tone, perhaps due to the mention of his father.

"Save some for Kimahri!"

I glanced at the Ronso, who had sworn to protect my life as we ran forward to join Tidus' side. If he only knew… that I did not regard Seymour as an enemy. My heart didn't want to believe what my head knew was too true. I felt no threat in presence despite the fact that he had just threatened to kill Tidus. The moment I lay my eyes on him again, it felt like I had not been truly seeing in the past few weeks. Or had it been months? I honestly couldn't remember. Since that night, the days and nights blurred in one endless purgatory where I was stuck between heaven and hell. The hard part was knowing which was which, because appearances were so deceiving.

His eyes caught mine and my lips parted, suddenly breathless as my pounding heart demanded more oxygen. "Lady Yuna, it is a pleasure," he said and the way his lips curled around my name sent more of those strange shivers down my spine. However, the more my eyes swept over those protruding veins on his face and those unnaturally bright blue eyes, duty overpowered me. It only reminded me of those moments I'd gazed at him, curled up in his tight embrace on the floor in his rented property in Bevelle. I begged him to let me send him, after trying to convince him why to live was better than death. He didn't belong here on this mortal coil. He didn't belong with me and neither me with him, much to my heart's despair. I didn't belong in his arms or in his bed. His tongue didn't have a place entwined with mine and he never belonged inside me, physically or in my heart.

"Yuna," Lulu said, intention clear in her voice.

In that moment, I prepared myself to send him, trying to keep a brave face when all I wanted to do was run into his arms and beg for him to make me feel whole again. Truth be told, I'd felt so empty since that night. Physically yes, I'd been stretched to the point where it didn't feel right with not having something between my legs but… emotionally too. I didn't realize until that night that I did indeed love him. Of course, if I had told anyone about what I did with Seymour, they'd say I'd fallen in love with sex rather than the man himself. I was sure I loved Seymour. I'd kissed Tidus after all… and I felt nothing for him. I enjoyed the kiss only because it reminded me of him. Only because it reminded me of that night…

"A sending, so soon?" He said, his question clearly rhetorical but I carried on. "Allow me to say something to the last Ronso before I leave."

His words caught me off guard and I stopped only to focus on him. What did he mean by the _last_ Ronso? Something in the pit of my stomach told me that I really and truly did not want to know or believe it.

"Yours was... truly a gallant race. They threw themselves at me to bar my path. One... after another..." He said, chuckling darkly every now and again. I shook my head in disbelief. How could he do such a thing? How could he… I should have known. This was the man who killed his own father, after all. I shook my head and took a step back, wanting nothing more to fall to my knees and cry. It was my fault. I should have just let him use me when he'd asked before. So many had died because of me… Seymour himself, Kinoc and now, the Ronso tribe. Who else was going to be sacrificed to allow his nightmare to become reality?

"No…" Kimahri whispered, a pained and heartbroken sound. A sound that made me want to cry even more. I should have given myself up to him completely. More and more people were going to die if I didn't… but wouldn't they anyway, if Seymour got his way? If I gave up that last little bit of free will I had, maybe if I dedicated my life and death to preventing Seymour from destroying the world… if that was what I had to do, then I would do it. However, I found it to be selfish as well, because I did not object to the descision at all. I was so completely in love with that wicked man… giving up the rest of my existence for him did not disgust or horrify me.

"Kimahri…" I murmured sympathetically.

"You could end the suffering of this poor Ronso," Seymour said, a horrible little smile on his lips. His lips… I could barely tear my eyes way from them to look into his eyes. Behind that mask of darkness and corruptness, I could see gentility there; a gentility that I only ever saw when he looked at me.

"I don't understand you!" I cried, all those muddled up feelings swarming in my chest and welling up in my throat.

He turned around and walked over to the edge of the path, looking down into that whitish gray haze. "Allow Kimahri to die and release him from his pain," he explained. "Spira… is a land of suffering and sorrow caught in a spiral of death. To destroy – to heal – Spira, I will become Sin."

I shook my head, knowing all too well his plans that he seemed so obsessed with. He turned around to look at me again, and I remembered how his glance felt as physical as his touch that night, and it did again there. The force of it nearly made me fall back but I stood my ground, un-breaking. I needed to be strong for the sake of my guardians.

"Yes, with your help. Come with me, Yuna," he said, losing the formalities. He was speaking to me, the girl, not the summoner. I wanted to believe that he wanted me for me, not for my abilities as a summoner. I didn't want to destroy Spira or die summoning the Final Aeon. Perhaps if I did go with him, there would be something in it for me until we reached Zanarkand. No, I would never forgive myself if I went with him. My guardians would never forgive me. Giving myself to Seymour for him to become my Final Aeon… was like me stealing the right to sign Spira's death warrant.

My gaze fell to feet, unable to answer him. I hated all of these muddled feelings, so much! Why couldn't my path be simple and linear and not the complicated labyrinth of emotions and turmoil I was currently undergoing? It wasn't fair! Love was going to destroy me and make me do things I'd never be able to forget and always regret.

Tidus moved to stand in front of me then, relieving me from the bittersweet torture of Seymour's gaze. His sword was in his hand, ready to fight for me. All of them were. But was I? Could I really fight him again? The last time… we'd won but only because I was still so annoyed for not letting me send him after all I'd done. But now… Time had boiled my emotions towards him down to a raw feeling, and that feeling I believed to be love.

"Once I have become the next Sin, your father will be freed again," Seymour said in response to Tidus' movement. His words were strange… like he was suggesting that Tidus' father, Sir Jecht, was trapped somewhere. I inhaled sharply, realizing something I should have known a long time ago. Was Sir Jecht Sin? Was it him who became my father's Final Aeon, and now he was trapped inside Sin, controlling it subconsciously from the inside like how Seymour wanted to?

Tidus struggled with what to say, hanging his head before he came to his senses. "What do you know?" he yelled before shooting forward to attack Seymour.

"Pitiful mortal," he said, quickly taking to the air and some kind of mechanical being ascended behind him. "Your hope ends here!" Suddenly, he appeared no longer human but similar to that strange robotic thing he had become before in Bevelle, except this time he was seated on that weapon he had summoned forth. "And your meaningless existence with it!"

My guardians had a quick discussion over who would fight first. They always fought in threes instead of fighting all at once. I guessed it was useful strategy that gave everyone a chance to rest if things got too rough. Auron, Tidus and Lulu were the first to fight and I stayed back with Rikku, Wakka and Kimahri, watching from afar. They managed to take down a good deal of his defenses, with Auron first using Armor Break, Tidus using Hastega and Lulu using Bio to poison him. After that, they went on to start hitting with all they had, and I flinched every time Seymour was hurt.

I wanted to stop them, wanted to stop all of this but I couldn't. Seymour kept stabbing them with his lance, not only inflicting some painful damage but also the Zombie ailment before finishing off both Lulu and Tidus with Full-Life. Auron managed to use the last tufts of Phoenix Down we had bringing them back before switching out with Rikku, who healed them with Curaga. Tidus looked at me, wanting to switch. I gulped and ran over. He touched my hand before running back.

I gazed up at Seymour, terrified. The tremors shook through my body, rattling my bones. He turned to me, gazing through those strange robotic eyes before casting Reflect, on me. I scratched my head, confused. It was only then I realized Rikku had already cast Reflect on him so he couldn't heal, so he then cast Curaga on me which reflected back on him, healing him significantly. I focused on using Esuna to rid anyone of the Zombie status, and when no one was a Zombie, Protect and Shell. I was a White Mage after all, I didn't really know any Black Magic, not that it would have worked anyway, seeming he had Reflect on him. Lulu and Tidus quickly switched, after she realized she wasn't going to be much help anymore.

Rikku turned away suddenly and crouched down, mixing two items she stolen from various fiends. She threw it at him with all the force she had, and the device was so blinding I could barely see. She then used Dispel on me, getting rid of Reflect so he wouldn't be able to heal himself. However, the machine thing he was sitting on began to flash and I swear I heard him chuckle darkly. I decided to try a different strategy. I would talk to him.

"Don't do this!" I cried.

He ignored me and stabbed Rikku with his lance before casting Full-Life on her. She fell to the ground, her landing softened by the cold snow. I used Life to bring her back and Auron quickly switched with her. Wakka called out to me and I switched with him. Kimahri wanted his chance too so he switched with Tidus. However, before they could even attack, Seymour attacked with all he had, including lasers and missiles and a huge explosion. I was knocked off my feet due to the force of it, as were the rest of us standing back. All three of them on the front line fell, completely wiped out from violent outburst. I held my breath as Tidus and Rikku tried to move their exhausted bodies to swap with them but Seymour was too fast and finished them off with his lance. I glanced at Lulu, terrified. We couldn't take him on by ourselves. Even if I casted Life, he'd just bring them down again.

Lulu was the first to move forward and she raised her one free hand in surrender. I followed suit, raising both of my hands, knowing that there was no way on Spira we'd survive another onslaught.

Seymour chuckled. "How wise of both of you," he said, his voice faintly metallic. "Take them."

Before I knew it, Guado guardians had quickly surrounded us. One grabbed my wrists from above me and held them behind my back. My staff fell to the snowy ground as I the Guado twisted my arms, digging his long nails in my flesh and I cried out. I watched as Lulu completely resisted being touched by the Guado and followed behind them freely, holding her puppet tight in her grasp. I was led behind her, back the way we came. My guardians that had been knocked out in the fight were being lifted by the Guado. No one was being left behind. I'd suddenly lost any remnants of hope I'd had left after that. I glanced up at Seymour as we were taken away, and I doubted just a little if my love for him was true.

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><p><strong>AN:** REVIEW!


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** Boom, well here's chapter two. I've almost finished (the story and a few sidequests) in FFX :( My first playthrough actually, and it's been amazing, ofc! Clearly, not enough Seymour but what can you do? :) This is what this story's for! Hopefully, readers won't scrutinize it too closely but be my guest if you want to. I've tried my hardest to incorporate the personalities of the characters into this, but because this is only fan fiction and the characters are not my own, they may seem slightly OOC from time to time. Hopefully not too much though. This isn't the last chapter, hopefully it will be about three or four, maybe even five? Who knows! xD

**A/N2: **I think I've made Yuna a helluva lot more naive than she actually is. I do have an excuse, maybe but only one, so feel free to eat me if I haven't defended myself properly :) Yuna is only seventeen (!) and in recent weeks, she has lost her virginity to a twenty-eight year old dead half human guy (nom)! Hence why she's all confused about her feelings, the poor girl. Well, that's my excuse. EAT ME?

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><p><strong>Chapter Two<strong>

After a long and tiring walk back to down Mt Gagazet, we were taken to Bevelle on the backs of Chocobos. Back to that rented property… and back to those memories. Lulu and I were separated and I tried to struggle from the Guado man's grasp but I was too exhausted. I was pretty sure Lulu had slept walked down the mountain so she was somewhat more coherent than I was. She tried to fight the Guado guardians off her to be by my side but they were too strong and she was too weak. They overpowered her, took her puppet away and threw her into one of the many rooms on the upper tier of the building. I was led down a completely unfamiliar hallway and shoved forcefully into a room I knew only too well. The door clicked behind me, indicating that someone had just locked it.

It was frighteningly familiar, that room. The log fire was burning, the soft glow emitting from the candles set in candelabras, the tasteful decoration and furnishings… It felt like was in a place I'd only ever seen in a dream. The sheets on the bed were no longer silk but something softer and plusher, perhaps because the nights were growing colder. I bent down and pulled my tired feet from my boots, wincing as I did so. The pilgrimage hadn't been kind to my feet at all, especially in those boots. They were covered in barely healed scars, cuts and blisters. I let myself fall to the soft carpet and pulled a potion from my pocket before spraying it over my feet. The cool mist immediately soothed any wounds on my feet and patched any open cuts together. I sighed in relief, glad to be rid of that pain anyway.

Getting back on my feet again, I realized that my staff had been left up on Mt Gagazet, unless one of the Guado had picked it up. I silently cursed myself for dropping it. I couldn't do much White Magic without it; I hadn't learned how to focus my magic enough to cast it without a staff to channel it. I had an idea, an idea that would hopefully get me what I wanted and prevented the complete annihilation of Spira. Why hadn't I thought of it the last time? It was flawless, maybe. As I gazed around the room, it felt less and less like a dream and more like a memory from the distant past. I felt like I'd matured more since the last time I'd been here.

A plan was forming in my head. I just had to hope and pray that Seymour would bring what I needed when he entered the room. If he ever did, which he probably would. Hopefully. He didn't follow us back down Mt Gagazet so he must have used his strange mechanical thing to bring him back to Bevelle, where he would hopefully appear human again. I padded over to stand next to the fire, to heat myself. Thankfully, the air over the Calm Lands was beautifully warm as we rode through, compared to the chilling haze on the heights of Mt Gagazet. I reached behind me and pulled on the knot of my obi, gently loosening it until I could pull it down over my hips. My skirt was just a piece of material, the corners tied at my left hip so I untied that quickly and it fell to the floor. The sash of white material wrapped around my torso came off with ease and soon, I stood in only my black camisole and panties before the fire.

Folding my clothes, I set them on the chair next to the fire. As I did so, I caught my reflection in a slim full-length mirror. I looked different. Better even. I was becoming my own person, maybe. Growing into myself. I was tired of following a path predestined for me. I was going to make my own decisions from now on. Even if they didn't work, I still tried. That was the main thing, wasn't it? Besides, we were defeated. If I didn't do something, who would? Lulu was trapped in another room unable to cast much magic, and no one would probably go and see her. Yevon only knew where the rest of my guardians were. I prayed silently that they were safe. However, just as I'd finished my prayer, the lock clicked and the door burst open.

I barely had a moment to comprehend the intrusion because before I knew it, strong warm arms had wrapped around my body, twirled me around, his lips were on mine and my eyes closed, all in an instant. My arms looped around his neck, holding him tight against me. His lips were so familiar against mine own, like air in my lungs after being underwater for too long. Sweet Yevon, how I had dreamed for this moment. To feel his kiss again, to feel his hand brush my cheek… but there was something else. Something cold and metallic enclosed in his grasp. Perfect. His tongue swept along the contours of my lips, seeking entry. I smiled and parted my lips, and tilted my head a little so one of his lower lip was between mine. His tongue brushed against my upper lip, slowly… _lovingly_.

My hands separated, both following along his shoulders, where one brushed down his arm until it came in contact with his own hand brushing my face. The other fell lower onto his tattooed chest, sinking lower, my fingers brushing the defined ridges of muscle outlining his abdomen. The kiss was steadily becoming deeper as I submitted my mouth to him and he explored between my cheeks, recognizing the familiar place. My breathing was slow and deep, trying stop myself from losing too much control. I needed to remain coherent, for now at least. Once my plan had been executed, nothing would matter anymore.

Knowing that what I was about to do could possibly send me over the edge, I held my breath and quickly thrust my hand under his obi and grasped his length, my heart skipping a beat. In reaction, he froze completely, unmoving like a stone statue. I opened my eyes and watched him. His eyes had glassed over, staring deep into mine but also motionless. My tongue played on his lips as my hand on his settled against my cheek, wrapped around his, feeling the smooth metal tight in his grip. My other hand brushed down his member, towards the head and my eyes never left his, looking for the perfect chance; watching for that moment where he would completely relax.

I pulled face from his to watch his eyes more closely. Peeking slightly to the left towards the door, I saw what I needed. Perfect. Feeling him against the sensitive nerves of my palm was strange. I thought I'd never reach the head. How could he possibly be that long? A better question was, how did that fit inside tiny little me? It definitely explained the pain between my legs in the succeeding days anyway. It was more textured than I'd imagined, probably because of his Guado heritage. They all seemed to be rather... veiny, for lack of a better word. As I stroked him, he began to twitch and harden in my hand, but to be honest; he was already half way there by that time anyway.

He blinked and took a sudden intake of breath, which meant he had begun to relax. I brushed his hand against my cheek and those fingers loosened. Quickly I slid the metal object from his grasp just as my thumb touched the moist head and he flinched in response. I jumped back quickly, and ran towards the door, grabbing the staff that he had dropped on his way in. I pushed the slightly ajar door shut and slid the key in before twisting it sharply, sealing us in. Taking the staff, I casted the strongest Protect and Reflect spells I possibly could on the entire room. The walls and floors shone as the magic spread like a barrier over them. I glanced over at Seymour who was watching me, his face completely expressionless.

I turned to the fire now, brushing past him as walked towards it. He was immobile again. I tossed the key into the flames, broke the staff in half and then again before throwing it into the flames as well. I watched as the fire caught the substance and was slowly engulfed, blackened and then burned down to nothing more than white hot ashes and smoldering metal.

"What have you done?" He whispered from behind me. Stepping closer, he wrapped one arm around my neck and the other around diagonally around my waist, so his fingers touched my hip and the hem of my panties.

"It's not over. I've trapped you here. You won't be able to get out," I replied, resting my head on his arm.

He chucked softly. "You have also trapped yourself, Yuna."

"Yes. I will send you. Either I or neither of us will leave this room. You will not destroy Spira."

His long nails softly brushed against the tender skin of my neck. I gasped a little at the sensation. "Is that what you truly want? For me to leave this physical plane? Or is that what is expected of you to want?"

I bit down on my lip, knowing he was trying to take advantage of my muddled feelings. "Yes. I do not agree with your opinions on destroying Spira, to heal it. Death cannot be the solution when the source of death, and the pain, misery and sorrow it brings, is the problem. It is my duty as a summoner to send you to where you belong. And I will go with you, if I have to."

He chuckled again and the nails on his other hand slipped under the waist band of my panties. My eyes rolled back and my breath hitched in my throat. "But wouldn't you rather have me to yourself? We could get married, you and I. A proper ceremony this time. We could go to Besaid and live happy, quiet lives. Would that not be wonderful?"

I shook my head, tears brimming in my eyes. It sounded wonderful. To be with him, always. However, I knew that he could wait forever to become Sin. He had all the time in the world after all. Once I died, he would be able to go and become Sin, to destroy Spira. And I would not be able to find peace without him being sent first. I would come back to this physical plane of existence, unsent as he was. What would we do then?

"It sounds too good to be true," I whispered, clenching my eyes shut as his fingers now slipped under my panties.

"You are correct," he replied, a smile in his voice. "Perhaps for a while, we could be happy. However, when your life ends, you would have forever to send me. Of course… I could always send you first…"

The arm around my neck constricted suddenly, cutting off my air supply. I flinched in response but before I could do anything about it, his hand had shot lower and his fingers were rubbing furiously against that sweet place. I struggled the best I could, however my focus was quickly lost as my body went into a frenzy. I couldn't breathe and it only seemed to add to the burning. Without air, fire could burn hotter and I felt that deep inside me. I was on fire. But I felt horribly light headed. My muscles were contracting without air and my heart tried to beat faster and faster, desperately wanting to bring air to those muscles.

He held his arm higher in air, and dragged me up by the head with it. I dangled from my neck and the hand shoved my hips against his. I felt him, harder than before, against my lower back. I tried to lean my head back onto his shoulder, trying to free my airway somewhat to gasp. Thankfully, he lightened his grip on my neck as I rested my head on his shoulder. I sucked in the air greedily, and the fire began to spread violently through me with the aid of oxygen as his fingers slipped inside of me. I struggled against him and the strange position he was holding me in. But it felt so good. Yevon, why did it feel so right? Why did it feel like I belonged there, in his arms?

"I think you could finish what you started before I kill you, don't you think?" He said, that darkness in his voice again. I yelped as he suddenly let go and I dropped like a stone to the floor. Thankfully, the carpet softened my fall somewhat. When I looked up, he was loosening the knot on his obi, just enough so he could shrug out of his robe. "Hmm, I think you proved yourself quite good at this the last time. Go on then."

He had become demanding, probably because I had annoyed him at the wedding and just after he killed Kinoc. He was annoyed with me. I didn't blame him. After all, I had tightened my fists and wiped my lips after he'd kissed me. The ultimate sign of rejection… how heartbreaking. I felt guilt deep in the pit of my stomach and I hated myself for being so cold. I gripped the obi and robe at his hips and pulled them down, along with anything underneath. Once they hit the floor, Seymour stepped out of them and I glanced up, wide eyed at the tall, naked yet beautiful man before me.

He chuckled darkly and his hand brushed through my hair, seeming to sense the guilt in my eyes. The hand in my hair slid down and cupped my face gently, his thumb sweeping softly just underneath my eye. I knew what he wanted, and I knew if I gave him that, there was potential that he would then kill me. Kill me and then send me, leaving him trapped in the room alone. Of course, I should have known he wasn't truly trapped. Once he'd gotten rid of me, he'd manage to free himself. I was the reason he stayed. He had to take care of me first. I couldn't be sure of his intentions though. What if he had some hidden agenda that I could not have possibly already thought of?

"You speak to me like I am nothing. You touch me like I am no more than common filth; a whore, Maester," I whispered and my breath caught in my throat, sobs forming in my chest. "What happened to that love you felt for me, once upon a time? Or have you become so twisted and corrupted, you are no more than a mere shadow of your former self?"

He watched me for a moment, both his expression and eyes as blank as the night time sky. "So says the little girl who thinks she can convince a dead man to love through sex," he said and turned his back to me. He crouched to lift his robe from the floor and turned again, in the direction of the door, as if he'd forgotten the enchantments I'd placed on it. I climbed to my feet slowly, still feeling a little dizzy. I watched him as he placed his hand on the door handle but didn't make a move to try and open it. "Are you no more than a mere shadow of your former self? What happened to that shy little creature I first laid my eyes on in Luca? Perhaps that was the girl I fell in love with. Now all I see when I look at you, are the actions of a girl confused beyond reason."

"That is your fault!" I cried suddenly, hysteria creeping into my tone. He craned his neck around a little to look at me, to see the tears streaking my face. My hands had clenched into tight fists and my body shook with such force as I shouted at it him. "Why couldn't you stay away from me? I hate you! _I love you!_ You are dead, you must be sent! _But I cannot!_ I cannot let you destroy Spira! _Yet, I cannot stop you._" My eyes were blinded by my tears. Blinking rapidly, I lifted my hands and looked at them, though only half-seeing. My throat was raw with screaming so the next words came out as a feeble murmur, barely. "Sweet man, what have you done to me? These feelings and desires, thoughts and fancies will drive me mad!"

My legs gave out then and I fell to my knees, shaking right to the bone. I arched my back and bowed my head, so my forehead leant against the soft carpet. My arms curled around my waist, trying to control the tremors radiating from my diaphragm. The sobs were silent now and I was running out of tears to cry for him. But the sobs still ripped through me. I should have known this would happen. Those muddled feelings I'd felt since that night… they had been seeping into my mind like poison, corrupting my thoughts and judgment. Nothing made sense anymore. And I doubted then and there, that anything would make sense again.

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><p><strong>AN3: **Review? Ya? And I'll stop posting as many author's notes? Sure? Coolio!


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